' ' Marriage Matters: A Book by Shara Grylls {Pen Press Publication}

This little book is filled with all the ingredients needed to help you create a happy, long-lasting marriage. It is a collection of timeless quotes, ruths, and old wives' tales, gathered together, for you.

Newly weds or 'seasoned veterans' of marriage will find something here to touch or tickle them. As one couple of sixty years' marriage confided: "love is ike playing the piano: first you must learn to play by the rules, and then you must forget the rules and play from the heart."

With incisive and witty cartoons, each page of this little book on marriage, is a treasure.

Sample Contents

“A good marriage requires you to fall in love many times,
always with the same person.”

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Together, live each day like your last and each night, like your first.”

“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.”
George Sands

“Turn off the television at supper time.”

“Marriage is like glass. The more you work at it - the more precious it becomes.”

About the Author

Shara was born in 1974, is married to Bear Grylls, and is mother to a little boy called Jesse, aged 2. She lives with her family on a dutch barge on the Thames in London and on a small private Welsh island.


Shara would love to hear your answers, comments and suggestions; so please read and contribute to the discussion below.

QUESTION: What's your secret to a happy marriage?


23 May 2010

The secret is in giving in the way someone likes likes to receive! Thats the only way a 'give' is appreciated and recriprocated. Each of the two needs to be such a giver it to be perfect. How can that happen you ask? Discuss it, understand it and just do it! Its really that simple :)

9 September 2010
Michigan USA

Live to fulfill one other's dreams. You need to be your spouse's number one supporter and fan, and they, in turn, need to be yours. Watching genuine love unfold throughout the years is a precious treasure and few are those who find it.

13 April 2010
Sanju, India

Both should have respect for the other. Nobody is perfect in this world, so keeping this in mind and without searching the loopholes go for the good qualities in that person. If necessary both have to sacrifice and compromise wherever and whenever it is necessary. Don't wait for big happiness enjoy all the moments with happiness.

29 December 2009
Iwona, Wroclaw, Poland

It's important not to treat your relationship dead serious....have a laugh at yourself. Also, be simply kind to each other even with very simple things. The secret is in the detail. For me it is vital that me and my husband have things we do together, interests that bind us, even if it's just taking care of our dog, traveling or cooking.

15 October 2009
Eliza Poland

You man must be your best friend.

8 October 2009
Vera, Texas

I think getting enough sleep is important, because when we don't have enough sleep, we tend to involve unnecessary emotion. Enough sleep improves our good mood too.

13 September 2009

The grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water and fertilize it.

3 September 2009
Carrie, IN, USA

I agree that there is no one secret to a happy marriage, but the one thing that I've found is more important than anything else is listening. My husband and I have been married almost twelve years and all of the problems we've ever had have been because one of us stopped listening to the other. My husband is not to be overt about what he wants or needs, but if I'm paying attention, I can almost always tell. One of our "rules" is that we do one thing, every day, to make the other happy. It's not something that's asked for or expected, which always makes it nicer, and can be something so small that it may not even be noticed at first, but it's our way of saying "I'm still thinking about you and I still want to make your day just a little better." My dad gave me some wonderful advice when we got married. "Don't do anything during the day without thinking of him when you do it." I love this advice so much because even when my husband isn't here with me, it makes me feel like we're a team in everything that I do.

11 April 2009
K Kelsey, Morden, MB, Canada

I am a military wife. A Canadian who married an American Soldier. The deployments are hard but what has brought us through successfully is staying focused on our future together.

29 October 2008
Rach Mac, UK

Keep talking and listening, especially about the small stuff. Pray together, play together and laugh together every day. Do something outrageous and fun together (without the kids) as often as possible and always remember that love is not just sentimentalism and a fuzzy feeling!

14 July 2008
Lace, Salt Lake City, Utah, USA

I married my best friend! We have been married for 8 years and have 3 kids. I think we do so well because we think of the other first. Marriage is selfless and thoughtful. We always talk about everything so there are never any harboured feelings. We remember to have fun together and laugh a lot. We support each other through the lows and highs. We were having a hard time once and I asked my husband how he managed to still love me the way he does when life has been so difficult. His response was, "I love you for you. Life throws things at us that make it hard sometimes but it doesn't change "who" we are. You are still you under your tears and hardships. You are still that beautiful person I married. The person I chose and love is having a hard time. How could I turn my back on that?" I see him the same way and will forever love him.

2 June 2008
Pam, Memphis, TN USA

I married my high school sweetheart and will soon celebrate 36 years of spending my life with my very best friend. Our secret to a happy marriage is: Make sure you marry your best friend. That's the person who knows everything about you; your faults, the goofy things you think and do and still likes to be with your and loves you anyway.

1 May 2008
JoAnn Lowe,Austin, Tx

Truly understanding that Love is a decision not an emotion. To finally trust it and begin your journey. My husband & I will be celebrating 13 years of marriage but have known one another 20+yrs (sweethearts, all the while).

27 April 2008
Claire, Papua New Guinea

Keep laughing - there's a funny side to everything in marriage - as in life.

25 March 2008
Danielle Morecambe

You never have to work to make a marriage work it just does if your with the right person... and will forever.

27 November 2007
Sean Meade, Highlands Ranch, CO

A wise old couple from our church toldd us their secret to a happy marriage: when you get into an argument, start taking your clothes off. Fighting will be the last thing you'll want to do!

2 January 2008
Amy, USA

Compromise and just how God says to live. It can be fun at all times and work. But very worth it. We are celebrating 15 years today and still wake-up saying I cant believe it.

28 October 2007
Courtney, Miami, FL

My secret to a good marriage is to enjoy every minute of it! No matter if it's good times or bad times, God only gives us so much time on His earth. So while we're here we've got to remember that and cherish all of the time we have with the ones we love. Forgive quickly, laugh often, love always.

11 August 2007
Juliette USA, Miami,FL

I'm 34 years old and I've never been married, so I cant' say that I know what makes a marriage work. I can say that it's a true blessing to find the love of your life and get to go through time with that person. I know things can get rough, but if you focus on their good qualities, thats what you will see more of. Treat the marriage and your spouse as they are a true blessing from GOD because they are. Laughing, Understanding, communicating, and love making seem like great tools ;) GOD Bless You and your family.

18 July 2007
Wife in NC, USA

Perseverance. Never forget God's potential for your spouse. Encourage your spouse to pursue God's potential for his or her life. Don't expect it, but hopefully, your spouse will do likewise for you. Encourage, encourage, encourage.

10 July 2007
Amy, West Virginia, USA

I believe Christ is at the centre of every healthy marriage. Knowing that, in the everyday, helps to honour one another even when you don't feel like it! My husband and I once heard a speaker talk about marriage. He was onstage, sitting on a stool when he took out a small black case. When he opened it up to reveal the beautifully polished Stradiviarius inside, some members of the audience gasped, "oooohhhh " and their faces lit up. THAT, he said, is exactly how you should regard your spouse on a daily basis.

30 June 2007
Darrell, Texas, USA

Be able make each other laugh in the middle of a fight - nothing seems so terrible when you are both laughing together.

19 June 2007
Brooke Page Tucker, Soldotna Alaska, USA

The secret to a happy marriage is to never go to bed angry, or leave with out kissing your spouse goodbye!

28 April 2007
Janea deWolff, Delaware, USA

Never be far away from each other for too long, you might find you like it!

27 March 2007
Tina, Corona, CA USA

Never go to bed angry and always keep an open communication. The more you talk the less chance you have to drift away from each other

26 March 2007
Mick & Jenny Daly, Colorado, USA

We just heard Bear speak (again) and met him - truly a wonderful young man... you chose well, Shara! We are Brits who've lived in America for 20 years - married 36 years, and still loving the adventure - that's one of the keys to happy marriage, wouldn't you agree?! We are excited to discover you and your book - we're going to buy tons of them as gifts for all our young (and not so young) friends. Come to Colorado! Blessings

14 March 2007
Amy, San Francisco, CA

Taking time for each other and the little things make for a happy marriage. I like to call my husband on the phone while he is at work and when he doesn't expect it to tell him that I am "thinking naughty thoughts of him." When we are anywhere without our children, we always hold hands. We also celebrate our love by going to the spot where we had our first kiss, watching our wedding video, and listening to "our songs."

14 March 2007
Amy, San Francisco, CA

My husband and I have been happily married for eight years, and we have many little romantic gestures we call "Squeeziness." This includes having a hugs as soon as we get home from anywhere, a "get home hug" and taking time for lots of long kisses. Sometimes this is hard with a four year old and a nearly nine month old, but we make affection a priority. My husband planned our whole wedding. I knew the date, but that was all.

27 February 2007
Dave G, New Jersey, USA

I am always looking to find what it is that makes my relationships work better. Having been a Grylls fan for some time now, and then learning of your book, I find more inspiration from amazing human beings like yourselves. It's not about jumping out of airplanes, or surviving in the jungle, but the true measure is how one lives one's life. Please make your book available in the US. I looked a short time ago and could not find it here.

27 February 2007
Heather, MI USA

Determined to take seriously the 'until death do us part' vow. Live like divorce is not an option.

1 February 2007
D Johnson, Texas

I saw your hubby on Ophra and thought he is also needs to come out with a book for men regarding "what is most important in life" I think his words with a man's prospective could really speak to another man without preaching. He was insightful when he said to Ophray: What's important is what is shared between people. Most people don't truly understand that until it is too late or 5 minutes before it is to late.

1 February 2007

I have never seen the show, but I saw your husband on Oprah and immediately recognised the same passion and ambition that drives my husband for adventure, life, and challenge. I recorded it and bookmarked Bear's website because it will inspire and encourage him in his quests. This sums up my secret to a happy marriage. a) Like the him as your best friend, b) Love him; he's your best friend, c) Be IN love always; silly/sad, fun/serious, happy/mad, good/bad d) Communicate, Encourage, Loyalty, Respect, Support and Trust. I look forward to his book.

1 February 2007
Shannon, US

My husband heard this on a radio show. Someone was interviewing a couple who had been married for 70 years and they asked the husband what was his secret to their long, happy marriage. "Low expectations." My husband and I laugh about that on a regular basis! It certainly wasn't what we "expected!"

13 January 2007

Yes surprise along the way is good. I love the idea of the book, hope to buy one soon I would love to know more about you Shara since your husband is so well know, what about you?

13 January 2007

LAUGHTER is the best medicine for all

13 January 2007

Love your husbands show brilliant really! Secret to my marriage... Laughter... Always be able to laugh it off. Oh and make good lovin' as often as you can!

06 January 2007
Hannah, USA

Hi Shara, I love your husband's show "Man vs. Wild" by the way. You're so lucky to have him. I'm so glad to find out that you seem like a nice person too. My secret is not to give 100% of what I am all about to the person I love right away, and keep surprising the person along the way.

04 November 2006
Ewan, Scottish Borders

I've read Bear's first 2 books and enjoyed them immensely. Unfortunately I leant "Facing Up" to someone but can't remember who and was looking for some of the quotes from it on his website when I came across your's. I will now be looking out for your book as a stocking filler for my wife of 14 years, not because I think she needs any advise but because I think she would enjoy it. The secret of a good marriage ........... I am afraid there is nothing set in stone, you make your own patha nd learn the answers along the way. It may not always be a path you thought you would find yourself on when you were younger and thought of such things, nor might it always be a path you wish to be on. But the only advise I would offer (if indeed anyone would wish to seek it!?) is to have trust in one and other as without that I don't believe you have much. Other things such as love and respect kind of come with the turf but trust has to be earned and maintained. I particularly liked this quote : "Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

22 April 2006
James, Mumbai

Keeping up heaps of respect, sharing feelings and dreams, & smiles and laughter in the good and bad times.

Oh and fancy the pants off each other!

19 April 2006

Hi Shara!just a little note to say that i really enjoyed reading your book.I am not married yet but have a lovely boyfriend who also enjoyed reading your book.A good friend of mine is getting married soon so i will be ordering the book for her too! thank you.god bless you and your family!love,Catherine.

03 April 2006
knowing Nick Hill & Trucker from E Sqn of old

Happily married - the best thing a man cannot buy. Hoping that the Grylls are happy and maybe meet up soon........

28 February 2006
Shara, London

Take no notice of your wife's fireballs and just give her a big cuddle - because underneath that is what she really wants!

14 February 2006
Nige - Battersea High Street

Unbelievably I am not yet married but with this book there'll be queues at the door!

09 February 2006
Guy, Roma

Lovely little book and lovely little website, this can only be good for my marriage.

08 February 2006
Rayner, EC2

Looks highly amusing!! Nobody in their right mind would marry me anyway, perhaps this ideal Valentines Gift will help. Looks brilliant.

01 February 2006
Charlie, Chelsea

How do you recommend I deal with my wife's regular "fireballs"?

20 January 2006
Will Collis, SW6

I'm not married yet, but the book is fabulous!

Add Your Comment

Type your comments or suggestions into the textbox and then click the button below to contribute to the topic.
Name & Location:

View sample contents from Marriage Matters About Shara Grylls Buy Marriage Matters Discuss the book